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August 30, 2009 (LPAC) — Worn out from pushing through murderous budget cuts, California's fascist Governor Schwarzenegger decided to shift his activity to do something to increase revenues, which have taken quite a tumble under his stewardship. Since he needed income right away, and realizing that creating jobs and building infrastructure would take far too long, the always-clever Ahnold did the next best thing: He decided to auction off state property, first on eBay and Craig's List, then holding an auction at the state's surplus goods center in Sacramento. Over 6,000 items were put up for sale, including automobiles from the state transportation fleet, used office furniture, computer equipment, digital cameras, and items confiscated by the California Highway Patrol, such as jewelry. Though the event drew more than 5,000 shoppers on Friday, only about $1 million was raised — not much, when the state is expecting to add another $8-10 billion to its deficit by the end of 2009.

Billed as "The Great California Garage Sale," Schwarzenegger pushed this as part of his plan to eliminate waste in government, while having "a little fun."

"By posting items online, Californians and people from other states and around the world can participate.... This is a win-win for the state and for shoppers. Together we are eliminating waste and providing great deals in this tough economy. I encourage everyone to log on or attend this great event," he said, while managing to keep a straight face. Meanwhile, legislators are due back in Sacramento on Tuesday, September 8, to take up Arnie's plan to release up to 43,000 non-violent prisoners, and to see if he will follow through on cutting off more than 900,000 children from state-funded health insurance.