April 3, 2008 (LPAC)--A meeting of the Economic Suicide Club was held today on Capitol Hill, in the chambers of the Senate Banking Committee. Among the prominent members in attendance were Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, SEC Chairman Chris Cox, Treasury Under Secretary Robert Steel, New York Fed President Tim Geithner, JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon and Bear Stearns CEO Alan Schwartz. Master of Ceremonies for the occasion was Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT). One after another, the members steadfastly defended their suicidal economic policy, often with more vigor than might be expected from people with such a pronounced death wish. Afterwards, they all attended a posh dinner in honor of Nero, and his brave determination to keep fiddling while Rome burned.

The gaunt figure of Death stood patiently outside the room. Asked how he intended to lure the club members to their new destination, Death replied, "That is easy. I just promised them they'd get their money on the other side. They can't wait to go."

"You can bank on it," he added, in his distinctly British accent.